Snapshots
by KanaRenee
Summary: Written for Gruvia Week- Snapshots of Gray and Juvia's time together before he left for Avatar. From Gray's POV, chronicling the changes that led to his decision to leave.


**Author's Notes: **Snapshots of Gray and Juvia's life in the six months they were together before he left to join Avatar. Written for Gruvia week, following the prompts provided. All from Gray's POV.

**SNAPSHOTS**

**HAIR**

Juvia's hair was a blue that Gray couldn't place. It was something he'd never paid much attention to until they'd settled in the village; weeks of seeing it pulled back, let down, wet from a shower, drenched in sweat and caked in dirt had solidified the observation. It did not matter how Juvia changed or what circumstance arose, her hair was undeniably a blue that he could not name.

He leaned back in the chair and lifted a bottle of beer to his lips and tilted it back, watching as she fussed around the kitchen to create "the best meal Gray-sama has ever had, ever". Her hair was pinned to the base of her neck to keep it out of the food, curled and rolled and twisted and messy, and yet the only thing that bothered him was that he couldn't pinpoint its shade.

It was too dark to be the color of the sky during the day and too light for midnight; it was too sharp for cornflowers and too soft for cobalt. The brightness didn't match azure if you caught it in a certain light and yet it had the same quality as black would have had against her skin. He had seen enough oceans to know their colors changed to reflect the conditions. Juvia's hair was stagnant.

He took another sip.

Maybe that was the point. He wasn't supposed to name it; maybe it wouldn't be so enticing if he had something else to compare it to.

"Gray-sama!"

Juvia turned, flour and condiments splashed against her face as she held out a professionally decorated plate of something that smelled better than anything he had eaten before. She tilted her head and smiled deeply.

"Time to eat! Juvia worked hard, so please eat with her!"

He set the beer bottle down, stood up and set his hand on her head. "I'll go wash my hands."

* * *

**QUIET**

He could hear the creaking of the floorboards, the dying tune of the last evening songbird, the softness of paper as Juvia flipped through the pages of the most recent Sorcerer's Weekly. The stillness and silent moments between them were awkward; for so long Gray had come to anticipate and expect Juvia's excitement and overreacting to his presence that times like this kept him on his guard.

Was she planning something he didn't know? Was she going to jump out in something inappropriate and try to talk him into something completely uncomfortable?

She continued flipping through the magazine.

If he was honest with himself, Juvia had changed since they fought Tartaros. The woman who approached him at his parents grave in tears was not the same woman he had rejected after the Grand Magic Games. He had told her he would start saying no to the things he didn't like, and now he was beginning to find he missed those same things.

"Wendy-chan joined Lamia Scale." There was a sadness in her voice, but she turned in his direction with a smile regardless. "Juvia was worried about her, but Chelia and Lyon-sama will take care of her."

Gray rolled his eyes. "Lyon's too busy looking at himself to take care of someone else."

"He tries to take care of you." She countered.

"Not very good at it, is he?"

Juvia flipped the page, a new type of excitement flowing over her face; her eyes grew wide and she jumped out of her seat, searching through drawers and cupboards until she came out with a pen. Gray raised an eyebrow.

"There's a section this month on how compatible you are with Gray-sama! Juvia must prove that she is the most compatible!"

So much for the quiet.

* * *

**BLOOM**

"Gray-sama can put those on the other side of the house!"

He hefted two large bags of some sort of sweet-smelling, damp wood chippings Juvia had purchased on their last mission and set them against the east side of the house beside an array of plants she had selected. Purples, blues, whites and pinks peek from their cramped temporary potting, vibrant and surprisingly inviting. Gray had never considered himself much of a flower person.

Then again, he hadn't considered Juvia to be much of a gardener. She was continuing to surprise him.

The awl in her hand dug into the soil, tearing out the stones and sod. She used her fingers to make the appropriate sized hole for the flowers next to her. Juvia leaned back on her heels, brow knit in concentration as she surveyed the available flowers before her; Gray didn't envy the task. She had practically purchased everything at the vendor, so long as it match the color scheme in her head.

"That one." Gray motioned toward one of the white flowers, a larger one than she had placed in the other spaces. "You haven't used them yet and it's close to the door."

Juvia lifted the flower he had suggested still in it's plastic tray and set it in the hole to see how looked. Satisified, she pulled the plant out of the casing and proceeded to set it in the ground and pat the dirt firmly around it. "Gray-sama, are you sure you haven't done this before?"

"I'm just the manual labor."

* * *

**DEMONS**

Her eyes show everything she isn't saying and Gray wonders when he started to understand how she could say so much more with her expression than her words. There is concern and compassion, there is worry and trust. She's competing with herself.

"What's for lunch?"

He turns and he walks away because he can't look at her anymore. He'll tell her everything because that's all he's ever wanted to do and it's getting harder and harder to refuse her.

The mark will recede eventually, he tells himself; the tugging remembrance of Mard's curse of nothingness and nonexistence tugs and taunts in the back of his mind, his determination to destroy END feeding and providing it power. It calls from the depths, a demon of its own right living and feeding off the demon slayer like a parasite.

As long as he keeps his eyes on her, he can contain it. As long as she smiles; as long as he keeps her near.

But Gray knows himself; he can't see her hurting. The fact that he feels this way scares him more than anything; the demons within him and the demons outside him and the demons he's meant to kill have taken everything and he'll be damned if they take her.

* * *

**DANCING**

It's late in more ways than one. He's been gone longer than he intended—over a week when he told her three days—and the darkness crept over the sky long ago. She was probably asleep, and maybe that was for the better. The mark hadn't faded, only grown, and it took everything in Gray to keep his clothing on to hide it.

As Gray came around the bend, he saw the lights were still on inside the house. She was waiting. She was always waiting.

He shifted the sack on his back when he neared the door, opening it without knocking. It opened without any resistance, the light flowing through the crack as he edged it open.

"Juvia, I told you to lock the door when I'm gone."

"Gray-sama!"

Juvia leapt from whatever project she had been working on—he hadn't the chance to see—taking hold of him tightly about the neck, swinging the two of them around. "Juvia knew you would come back!"

"That doesn't explain why you didn't lock the door." he didn't return her hold, but instead let her lead him about the room with her big, relieved smile and the warm hands that tugged him away from the door and into the welcoming atmosphere of their home.

When she let go, Juvia twirled liked a dancer toward the table and lifted up a shining object with the same kind of grace. He hadn't realized how much he missed watching her move about their home, or the way she bent so slightly to retrieve whatever it was on the table.

"Gray-sama left his key!"

* * *

**LIGHT**

The bed creaked before he realized anyone was in the room.

Her motions were light and hesitant, shifting along the edge of the blankets until he could feel the mattress shift with her weight. His back was toward her and Gray didn't want to turn around. As long as he pretended to be asleep, he wouldn't have to send her away.

Juvia's soft hands lightly touched the exposed skin of his arm, gingerly moving across the marks that had not faded. He could feel the apprehension in her touch, imagine the concern in her face. She had stopped asking when he continued to brush off her inquiries but Gray could still feel her eyes boring into him with questions she dare not ask.

The anger her felt at her interference frightened him. It was unfounded and fueled by the darkness creeping over him.

She pressed her lips lightly into his shoulder, and Gray knew he had to stop this before it went too far. He couldn't let her stay with him that night, or any night. Not until END was gone.

Not until he could answer her questions.

He turned, catching her gaze with his own. Juvia stopped her motions in her shock, watching and waiting for him to make a move.

Gray took hold of her hand, holding it with a tenderness he forgot he possessed. "You need to go."

"Promise Juvia that Gray-sama won't leave." She asked, a rawness in her eyes.

"Get out, Juvia."

"Promise Juvia!"

He closed his eyes; the anger was rising. He couldn't make that promise. He didn't want to make that promise; the parts of him that would go through hell and back to stay with her were losing to the parts that wanted to tear away and absolve themselves in a darkness he no longer feared but embraced. If he was choosing to fight it no longer, he couldn't let her get any closer than she already had.

"Get out."

* * *

**SWEET**

She's asleep and Gray watches, taking in what he can of her for the last time while he still has some sense of himself. The power clawing within him, the curse and the demon that poison him, is an ever present foe he isn't sure he can defeat—one he isn't sure he wants to. Hasn't it been said that slayer-type magic user can become what they are intended to slay? Was he becoming a demon?

If he was, he couldn't risk her.

She would be hurt. Juvia was always a sensitive woman, but she had a strength that he envied as well; she could pick herself back up. She could make it work. She would be alright.

Despite his better judgment, Gray set his black stained hand on her head and brushed her hair back. Juvia was serene and relaxed, even with the knit expression on her face. The last few days had been difficult as he pushed her away and she tried to cling to whatever semblance of what they had. He couldn't tell her where he was going, because she would follow. He couldn't give her any hope, because she would continue waiting.

Maybe he really was a monster.

The longer he remained beside her the harder it was going to be to leave her. There was no part of Gray that did not pull for him to stay with her, but the darkness was tempting and strong and promised power he needed to defeat END. He could never give Juvia what she wanted until that was done. If it turned him into a demon himself, then so be it. It was something he had to do.

He couldn't let her end up like the others.

Gray's lips were pressed into her hair before he realized what he was doing; he pulled back just as quickly, waiting for her eyes to open and plead with him to stay.

She remained asleep.

He stood and he turned away from him for the last time; his sweet Juvia would no longer be his, and as he walked through the door and down the moonlit path Gray tried to convince himself that it was better this way.


End file.
